The Dangers of Leaving Candy Unattended
by CakeTwins
Summary: Leave girls to their own devices, and you're asking for trouble. Involves mud, lack of studyage, and lots and lots of candy. One-shot. Enjoy!


**Disclaimer: **To my great dismay, I did create any of this spectacular world or characters. I do enjoy them, however.

**Author's Note: **Yeah… so this isn't great, I realize, but it was a fun little idea that presented itself to me randomly today, so I decided to do something unusual for myself, and act on that part of my mind that randomnly generates fun little ideas. Anyway, here it is – enjoy!

            It had turned out to be a particularly muddy and dismal day; prime Quidditch weather for five school-bound, bored-out-of-their-minds-with-exams, boys.

            "Come on lads, let's head out for a game," Seamus prodded Neville, who was chewing lazily on a Creature Confection with his foot. (**A/N: **Neville is chewing on said candy with his _mouth…_not his toes.)

            "I'm up for a match," Harry stretched, and stood. He and Ron started off for the dormitory to get their brooms when Neville suddenly belched loudly.

            "_Ewww__!"_A second-year girl shrieked from across the Common Room. Neville grinned sheepishly, and emitted a loud bellow, sounding amazingly like a healthy male hippopotamus. A few people around the room cheered, and Harry, Ron, and Seamus retrieved their brooms, chuckling.

            A few minutes later, the five boys were headed for the locker rooms to commandeer brooms for Dean Thomas and Neville. As Ron clambered through the portrait hole, he bumped into Hermione, staggering back from the library with a full load of books.

            "Easy there, 'Mione. You might scratch someone's broom with all of those books…" He steadied her with one hand, and grinned easily as he set off down the corridor.

            Hermione rolled her eyes as the boys in her year rushed excitedly towards the stairs.

            "They have way too much fun with that game," she muttered, climbing through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor Common Room.

            Said room was particularly cozy this afternoon – a crackling fire was burning in the fireplace, guarding the place against the wet coolness of the day. There were a number of people scattered about the room, but one of the tables near the fire was open, so Hermione shifted her load of books and headed for it. She had no sooner settled herself into a comfortable reading position ('Numerology: An Extended and Expanded Examination' required concentration) than two familiar voices sounded from behind her.

            "I can't believe it! What did you say?" It was Lavender Brown, and where Lavender was, Parvati Patil was not to be far behind.

            "Well, _yes, _of course…" A giggle sounded. Hermione sighed – just what she needed, to be accompanied by the house gossips. "He said that he'd owl me; so now I just have to wait and see what happens." Hermione shut her book, figuring that she might just as well take a break from studying until Parvati and Lavender got bored with her.

            "Hello girls." She turned in her chair and smiled at them. Parvati waved, and she and Lavender joined Hermione at her table. They weren't really half bad, Hermione decided – just flaky.

            "Ugh, Hermione, I can't understand how you manage all of these subjects!" Lavender gingerly pushed 'An Advanced Study of Runes and their Origins' to one side, nearly knocking a previously unnoticed bag off of the edge of the table.

            "What's that?" Parvati asked, pointing at the orange bag. She picked it up, and dumped its contents onto the table. Dozens of brightly colored sweets poured out. There were candies of all different sizes and colors – long, thin pink ones, heavy grey ones, brown-on-brown spotted ones, and many more. "Candies! I love candy…" Parvati started to reach for one, but Hermione grabbed her hand before she could touch any.

            "Wait, Parvati. We don't know who these belong to – we shouldn't eat them." Lavender rolled her eyes.

            "Oh for goodness sakes Hermione, it isn't as if anyone's going to hex us for eating a few sweets." She picked up a smallish white candy and examined it.

            "But how do you know that the _candies _won't hex us?" Hermione could tell from the skeptical looks on the faces of her roommates that they didn't get her point. "What if Fred and George left them here for unsuspecting victims? It isn't as if they've not done that before…" Lavender looked nervously at the white candy she had been about to eat, and dropped it rather hastily.

            "_Please…_" Parvati shook Hermione's grip off of her hand, and popped a large blue-grey candy into her mouth. The two other girls looked expectantly at her as she chewed, but nothing happened. Parvati swallowed, and smirked. "See? Nothing." Hermione shrugged, and went to stack her books. Lavender was reaching again for the white candy when Parvati suddenly let out a massive belch, causing her friend to nearly jump out of her chair. Hermione giggled from behind her books.

            "That was quite feminine,"

            "Oh hush you," Parvati started, but before she could finish her sentence, a strange, mournful sound issued from her mouth. It was loud and haunting, and sounded oddly to Hermione like… like a _whale? _

            Lavender, recovered from her initial shock, laughed hysterically at the surprised look on the other girls' faces.

            "I know what these are! Creature Confections – you eat them, and make the sound of whatever animal candy you ate." She laughed a little more, before chewing the white candy, and emitting a very loud Baaa.

            Twenty minutes later, the three girls had gone through nearly all of the candies, causing several confused late arrivals to the Common Room to look for the pig that surely they heard over by the fireplace. After Parvati's seagull shrieks died down, and subsequent hysterics had calmed, Hermione decided to be daring, and reached for an ugly orange and black candy which had, until now, been avoided.

            "Ooh, Hermione _don't!" _Lavender squealed, covering her face in girlish horror. Hermione grinned mischievously at her roommates, and popped the sweet into her mouth.

            "Hmmm… quite chewy," she winked at Lavender, and swallowed. When she opened her mouth to let the sound out, Parvati and Lavender nearly collapsed from laughing.

            The candy was a tiger – Hermione was making a wild, almost seductive noise, and caused quite a few chuckles around the room, but the two friends across from her were breathless from the extent of their laughter.

            "…_Hermione?" _Hermione recognized that voice, and started to choke on the noise as she tried to suppress it.Harry came around the corner of the table in disbelief, staring at his usually studious and reserved friend. Parvati started to slide off of her chair, and hung on to his robes for support, laughing so hard that tears were running down her face. Hermione's head snapped up and her eyes widened. She couldn't stop the noise, but she realized with horror that the boys were back. These must have been their candies. They must have heard us making these ridiculous noises all the way down the hall! Ron – er, _they _– must think her a total ditz for spending all of this time with Lavender and Parvati, and… Hermione whirled around to see Ron, Neville, Seamus, and Dean standing behind her, caked in mud, and looking quite disheveled. The last thing that she wanted right now was to be growling at those boys… the _last _thing. She could feel her face starting to flush, and against her will, her eyes dragged themselves towards Ron as the animal sounds dwindled from an intense growl to a low purr.

            Parvati and Lavender were having a field day. The boys next to Ron were sniggering and slapping him on the back. Even Harry was fighting back a snicker. A reddish glow was very quickly blossoming on Ron's face and ears, and he finally managed to turn himself around and head for the dormitory stairs.

            "Gotta put my broom away," he muttered, walking quickly.

            At the same time, Hermione had jumped up, gathered her books, and scrambled for the stairs to the girls' dormitories.

            "I have to put these books away," she said hotly, as she passed a smirking Harry.

            Back in the dormitory, later that night, Seamus looked over at Ron as he climbed into bed.

            "Looks like you've got yourself a real tiger, there, mate." Loud 'coughing' noises issued from three of the other curtained beds around the room as Ron, glaring, wrenched the hangings about his bed shut.


End file.
